about her.

I used to know this girl. She was a woman and a girl all in one, at the same time. Loved her for what she was, and for the fact that others didn t quite understood her as i did. Every night she lit up a cigarette and wrote. About...everything. The thougths that couldn t quite make it out of her lips, though they scarred her brain and repeat themselves over and over and over. Keeping them was terror to her nights, her days. So she put them down on paper, while smoking, in the middle of the night. I-love-you's, sadness, madness. Everything that her head produced hit the papers like a storm. Things that eventually got out, late (too late) or things that never did see reality (the spoken one). See words are traps. They are never the same to each one of us. As time passed, she realised it. Truth is the same, but the form it takes is different.

...

Smiles all the way

I believe i can mend a broken heart...

In the years that have passed, i became used to not being happy. I m talking about real happiness, the kind that makes you smile all the way, but has no reason. The one that makes every rainy day full of sunlight, every cold winter s day a warm summer.

Yes, i sometimes had some piece of the happy cake, bits, here and there. And as years came and went, i stopped expecting real happiness... i got into the unhappy game and got stuck there. As if there was never going to be a change, and my heart got sick, my mind got sick. Then i started to change my behaviour. I met all the wrong people, who broke my spirit. And so on. I was left heartbroken and unhappy for so long, that i actually perceived the whole situation as a normal one. As in it was normal for me to be misstreated by a boyfriend, cause this kind of shit happens; it was normal for me to be sad, cause life is not a combination of beautiful events and people...

When did i get you?

I cannot trace the exact moment. I believe it took us a lot to be here.

You saw ME. I had my eyes wide shut, but now i see YOU.

I wanna laugh all the time, as if my face muscles are in some kind of motion distress. I wanna tell people i know and people i don t know that i have been given something special, SOMEONE special.  In so many ways, you brought me back. Back to happiness.

Thank you, mister man-friend.

* i ve never written anything so silly. Not since i grew up.

I should be locked away for feeling too much pink&sugar in my life.

dark rooms, shinny people

You're beautiful so silently
It lies beneath a shade of blue
It struck me so violently
When I looked at you

But others pass, they never pause
To feel that magic in your hand
To me you're like a wild rose
They never understand why

I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper

I'll cross the sea for a different world
With your treasure, a secret for me to hold

In many years they may forget
This love of ours or that we met

They may not know
How much you meant to me

I cried for you
And the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper

Without you now I see
How fragile the world can be
And I know you've gone away
But in my heart you'll always stay

I never knew you. You never knew me. At first, when we were occupying the same sq m, i didn t saw you. I was drawn to my usual habits, of being the silent friend.
I had a song in my head, kept on humming without lyrics. In your room, as we enter, as something close to a kind of ..friends, I looked at you.
Your eyes are ...cannot define the colour. It s in a shade of green that they hide gold pieces, small pieces of light. They touch blue and they touch grey, like a restless water, but yet... they make me feel so calm. Like a storm could only comfort me. I get a million images in my heart, colours and paintings and photographs, all in two seconds. Not less, not more. You become a warm undefined spot in my heart, that spreads to my very fingers. It's in the dark center of your eyes that i see light. i see you. i see me.
And i don t even know you...

Poetry.

Pagina dupa pagina,

Toate lucrurile se trec.

Am numarat vise pe cer.

Am mutat culorile, am repictat acest cer.

Apoi ai tunat... si a plouat peste mine.

I don't remember now, but i think i had my heart ripped out of my chest at the time. But i was somehow at peace. Confused, yet knowing.

Sad, but smiling.